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“The Tantalizing”

2017 | 9”x12” | Mixed-media:
Prismacolor Verithin red/blue colored pencil, Derwent Inktense pencils, white charcoal, and water brush on white textured paper.
—
“Through you
I was reborn.
I was always drowning,
so you baptized me in thirst.”

In Greek mythology, Tantalus was a son of Zeus once welcomed to dine at Mount Olympus. Believing it to be the key to immortality, he stole the food and drink of the gods (“ambrosia” and “nectar”). As punishment for this and his other crimes, he was placed after death within the Underworld realm of Tartarus, waist deep in a pool beneath a tree bearing low-hanging fruit. It wasn’t long before Tantalus realized that as he knelt down to quench his thirst, the water would recede beyond his reach. As he reached above to satisfy his hunger, the branches pulled themselves away, the fruit also just outside of his reach. Never again would he know the taste of satisfaction or the feeling of fulfillment.

How often do we find ourselves in this same predicament, blind to the truth of our situation until something wakes us up? What do we do when we’ve surrendered ourselves to partners that both recede and withhold? How is it that what was once our salvation suddenly becomes our torturer? And when our friendships and flirtations fail to supplement our need for closeness, what then do we reach for? And furthermore, why do we stay? Are our invisible bonds so seemingly strong that we can’t find a way to untie them?

In this endless push and pull, there is nothing left but to look inward. Tantalus was supposedly held in place with heavy chains, but what are our excuses? Maybe the chains were a metaphor. Maybe he felt he deserved to be there. Maybe he felt his desires were too great that they must be tempered.

In any case, I’d like to think that given enough time, were he able, he’d eventually climb out of the pool, grab himself a glass of water and drive to the nearest taco joint. But maybe that’s just me. After all, I’ve learned it takes incredible courage and self knowing to free oneself (even emotionally) from the things we love that aren’t serving us or meeting our needs. “THE TANTALIZING” shows how at some point we have to look at our situation and be willing to admit to ourselves, “This isn’t enough.”