“Citrinitas”

2021 | 11”x14” | Mixed-media:
Prismacolor Verithin red/blue colored pencil, Derwent Inktense pencils, black ink, white charcoal, and water brush on cold press watercolor paper.
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Citrinitas (or Xanthosis; yellowing) was the 3rd phase in the alchemical process—following decay (Nigredo) and purification (Albedo)—representing the infusion the prima materia with new life. Only after this infusion could the prima materia be fermented and reddened (Rubedo) into the Philosopher’s Stone, capable of transmuting lead into gold.

This process also represents the act of delving into toxicity, purging all that should be grieved, and making room for re-education and re-parenting, for the new to enter. Just as two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time, we must grieve our losses before something new may enter. When it comes to trauma, healing often feels so much worse before it gets better.